BROKE AT 19

“Can I have a few bucks for today mum?” he asked even though knowing that something’s going to come. “Oh my god! How many times do you have to keep bugging for money? You can’t always do this. You know. Find a job, will ya? For how long am I going to put like this? You are already a grown up, can’t you find a job or something? When u grow old and reach our age then you’ll know how hard it is to earn money.”


Fantasy is what we want but reality is what we should follow. Couldn’t realize how truly it stood, for me myself living in a fantasy world of my own for past few years. A fantasy world where everything goes my way. Where I can have anything I wanna have and where I am always rich and powerful. I guess I am not the only one living in this non-existing world and I hope I’m not only person to figure out the real world is harsh. But, however harsh it is, one has to keep up with reality. Its tough being broke in the real world. I find myself in a position where I’m neither a small kid nor a fully grown up, a teenage is the right word, and its tough being a teenager as well. May be it’s because of the lack of opportunity for the people of our age in our country pr it’s just that I landed in a bad place when the time simply wasn’t right. Whatever be the cause, jobs are hard to come your way here especially when you’re a teenage. And just like the prints on those T-shirts saying, NO JOB, NO MONEY, NO PROBLEM, I’d correct the words and put it as NO JOB, NO MONEY AND A HELL A LOT OF PROBLEMS. But hey, I’ve got a life inside me as well and I’ve got to live just like anybody else. And when you have got no hope, no will (and no money), who else could turn to? Just to your parents who will always be there for u. of course they love you more than any thing else, but when teenage catches up on you, You are no more the cute little baby you were before, doing cute little things that always makes them smile. You are now good- for-nothing trouble maker and a money hungry machine, which always seems to get on their nerves no matter what you do. I wonder if this is the generation gap that we talk about or is it us and our state of mind when we reach this certain age.


Compromising leads to understanding. But compromising isn’t easy to deal and understanding is hard to emerge unless you give up your rigid stance. I guess most (and not all) families lack these factors which eventually lead to misunderstanding. Not all the black sheep are bad. Parents need to realize what we go through at this age and what situations we find our self into. Sometimes there isn’t even a penny in our pocket to pay micro-bus fare and have to walk all the way to home. Or sometimes we can’t buy even a mineral water bottle to quench our thirst when we feel like walking under a hot desert sun and dusty roads of Katmandu. May be its because of the  strange situations we find our selves into when you are broke, that once we get our hand on the large amount of dough, we feel like we have so much of things to do with it. The next thing we know, it’s all spent and gone, just like that.


I’ve been wondering whether it is we who needs to understand our parents more or are it them who need to understand more about us. I guess both of us have got to have that understanding between each other but I don’t think that those walls will be easier to climb even though they are meant to be breached. Whatever the reason for us (teenagers) being, we’ve to realize that we make out of it. The situations we face are of our own doings and we have to remember that we can take control of what we face. However harsh reality is for us, we’ve got to play our part of doing things right and hope our parents will do the same. Pay heed to these words of mine and who knows you may never be broke at 19!!